![Picture](/uploads/4/5/3/0/45307025/5507965_orig.jpg)
This week, we meet Dayna, our favourite Texan...
Name: Dayna Hickman
Age: 28
Location: Houston, Texas, U.S.A.
Job: I'm an educator, with a preference for teaching English and literature, but also a freelance writer and editor. And of course, a professional coffee drinker. You can follow me at www.thefrazzledcoffeelover.com (which is under construction at the moment).
Children: We have one precious, very fought-for, 10-month old son named Holt.
The best thing about being a Mum: This is a hard question to answer, and I don't think I can accurately answer it with just one thing. The best part is hiding somewhere between the unending adoration of my son and the depth of my pride in my husband and my ability to navigate parenthood. I think it's too hard to choose a best thing.
What motherhood has taught you about yourself: I've learned that I can run on less sleep than I thought possible. I've learned to see myself in my child, and dole out patience because I understand. I've learned to see my husband in our child, and dole out patience because I don’t understand. I've learned that I can love someone so deeply, that I forgot that person wasn't myself, but a piece of me outside of…me. I’ve learned that I can change incredibly in a tiny time span. I was a different human a year ago.
A day in the life of you: Wake up. Drink coffee. Stumble around wishing for more sleep. Drink more coffee. Attempt to play with the child. Attempt to play on Facebook. Attempt to write. Attempt to clean house. Realize I have left everything unfinished. Pray nap time lasts longer than it does. Drink more coffee. Eat chocolate. Rinse and repeat. Ha!
Best pregnancy/child/motherhood thing you've ever bought: There are three. First, a soft-sided carrier (Ergo). It was invaluable when he was tiny, sometimes it was the only place he would nap. It’s how I grocery shopped, went to church, and went for a walk.
Second, a walker. I don’t care who says not to let your kid walk in a walker. Or why. My son loved his, and suddenly I could let him run and play while I did dishes or tossed a ball for the dogs. It was (is) a lifesaver for me!
Third, touch and feel books. As a teacher, I see kids every day who don’t read. I believe early development is so important. Touch and feel books have provided hours of quiet bonding between my son and me, his daddy, and others. He enjoys getting in there and feeling the animals or prints. It fosters a very important love of books, and I hope that continues throughout his lifetime.
1 piece of advice for pregnancy: I struggled to get pregnant, and when I finally did, I lost my first two children in miscarriage. Because of this, my pregnancy with Holt was terrifying. I panicked on a daily basis, all the way until he was in my arms. Even then I struggled with the idea that something had to be wrong with him. There was no way he was okay, healthy, and perfect—even though he was. I finally had to take a deep breath and tell myself that even if something was wrong, I would love him no less than I do now. If I could go back and talk to my panicked self at 5, 25 and 35 weeks, I would tell her to take each day as it comes, and not worry unless there was true cause.
1 piece of advice for motherhood: My kid loves his walker, occasionally plays with my phone, and doesn’t eat homemade baby food because I’m too busy/lazy/overwhelmed to make it myself. He loves to sneak bites of sugar-filled treats, sometimes drinks apple juice, and wears sposies because I. Hate. Laundry. He nurses to sleep, co-sleeps, and takes a bath every night because he likes baths and he’s a dirty kid in general (no really, he is). I vaccinate on schedule, and avoid antibiotics if at all possible.
But we also read books every day, I’m consistent about bedtimes, I won’t give my son a binky or bottle, and I have yet to leave him for longer than an hour with anyone but Daddy. I cook dinner almost every night and allow my child to play outside every day.
My point is simple, take everyone’s advice, consider it, research it, and do whatever the heck is best for your child. Because your child isn’t their child, your family isn’t their family, and you aren’t them. It’s okay to not go by the books on some things, and okay to break the rules other times. Anyone who tells you that you’re doing it wrong can stuff it. You’re doing great.